I Can't Hurt You!
by Skabooom
Summary: When Alex loses control while kissing his boyfriend, he almost kills him with his powers. Unable to face the thought of ever hurting Sean, Alex pushes him away, refusing to talk to or even look at him. Havok/Banshee or Sean/Alex slash.
1. Chapter 1

"Oh god…" Sean closed his eyes, his flaming red hair falling about the pillow as he crashed onto the bed, Alex on top of him, kissing him passionately. "God, Alex, I love you," Sean whispered, clawing at the boy's shirt to remove it. This was the first time they'd ever gotten this heated in a makeout session, but Sean wasn't scared. He had gotten to know Alex so well over the past few months, and they had been dating, so really, what was there to be scared of?

"I love you too." Alex didn't even bother to be careful with Sean's shirt, instead, he ripped of the garment, throwing it to the floor in pieces.

"That was hot," Sean whispered, smiling as he finally managed to free Alex of his shirt. "Now shut up and kiss me."

"Not a problem." Alex kissed Sean deeply, stopping only when Sean pulled away.

"Oh my god." Sean grinned, pulling Alex down into another kiss before flipping them so that the red head was now on top.

"Nice use of distraction," Alex whispered as Sean straddled him, holding him down. Sean leaned down, kissing Alex again, smiling as Alex raked his fingers through Sean's hair, twisting them amongst the orange waves. Neither boy had ever felt like this before, despite both of them having had past relationships. Neither had ever been with another boy, let alone someone that they cared about so dearly. Both Sean and Alex were sure that they were in love, but neither had said it yet, as both were too afraid of what the reaction would be.

Sean moved his lips down to Alex's throat, kissing his neck softly. No one had ever made Sean feel so good, so special, so confident, and he wanted to show Alex how much their whirlwind romance meant to him. Alex let out a soft moan as Sean pulled back, sitting up and resituating himself on Alex's hips.

"SEAN!" Alex screamed, pushing the red head to the floor just in time for a shot of red plasma to burst forwards, burning a hole in the ceiling.

"What just happened?" Sean asked, picking himself up off of the floor to see Alex already sitting up pulling his t-shirt on over his head.

"What just happened?" Alex repeated, his face pale as the white sheet on the bed. "What just happened is I almost…I almost killed you!" Alex gulped, currently in too much shock to move.

"Oh." Sean shrugged. "Look, don't worry about it okay? You didn't hurt me. I'm fine." Sean sat down on the bed, putting his hand on Alex's shoulder, hoping to calm him.

"Fine?" Alex shook his head. "It's NOT fine! I lost control and almost burned a hole right through your chest!" Alex's mutation had never been easy for him, of course, but he had never imagined that he would be so emotionally overwhelmed that he could hurt, or even kill, Sean, and now that he realized he could, the thought scared the hell out of him.

"It's okay!" Sean insisted. "We'll be more careful next time! It's okay!"

"No." Alex shook his head. "It's not okay, and there isn't going to be a next time." He stood up, heading for the door, Sean bolting after him. "It's over, Sean, we're over." He slammed the door in Sean's face, leaving the other boy staring in shock at the door.

Alex ran down the hallway, furious with himself for what had almost happened. He had come within centimeters, seconds, of ending the life of the first person he had ever loved, and he couldn't handle that fact. Alex had spent his whole life by himself, maybe dating a girl here and there for a couple of weeks, and he was no virgin, but the passion had never really been there, and as a result, he had never almost killed the person. When he met Sean, he had thought that the other boy was kind of an asshole, but as they got closer, he realized that Sean was only guarded, just like he was. They were both scared about the way that other people saw them, about the ways that they had been treated in the past, and that mutual fear only brought them closer together.

"Alex?" Charles stopped the running boy, his wheelchair blocking Alex's path. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing." Alex shook his head. Charles had promised to stay out of his head, aside from emergencies, and Alex only hoped that was true.

"I can clearly tell that it's not nothing," Charles stated. "Not wanting to talk about something is one thing, but lying is another, please do not lie to me, Alex. I like to think that we can trust each other."

"Whatever." Alex shook his head. "I don't want to talk about it, now move."

"Alright, but if you change your mind…" Charles sighed as Alex ran past him. He was trying to make everything work in this place, but with new students coming every day, he wasn't able to give individual attention to everyone whenever they needed it.

The next day, Sean tried to talk to Alex, but every time he got close, Alex turned away, ignoring him completely, and the two weeks following were no different. Alex talked to other people, acting like everything was just fine, except around Sean. He ignored the boy every time Sean got near him, he would even leave a room just because Sean entered. Sure, he had feelings for Sean, but pushing him away was one hell of a lot easier than killing him would be.

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><p><strong><em>AN TO BE CONTINUED! DUMDUMDUM!  
><em>**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Sorry that this took me so long! Things have been carazay at work!_**

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><p>Alex sighed as he sat down in the courtyard, pretending to be reading up about World War I, when in actuality, he was looking just over the top of the book to where Sean was sitting. The redhead was sitting by himself in the distance, his knees pulled to his chest. Alex couldn't see it from where he was sitting, but the boy was shaking, crying softly. Alex let out a deep sigh, shaking his head as he watched the boy. He loved Sean so much, and the last thing that he wanted was to hurt him, however, it didn't look like he had much of a choice – either he was going to hurt him emotionally the way he was now, something that he could move on from and get past, or he was going to hurt him physically, kill him, even, and that was something that he could never come back from.<p>

Tears stung at Alex's eyes and he raised the book, hiding his face from anyone who may be watching him. He didn't want anyone to know that he wasn't the strong man they all thought he was. Sure, he was built, but even the most jacked guys have hearts, and Alex's was in the process of shattering. He knew that he would do anything for Sean, and he knew that right now, whether Sean understood it or not, that meant staying as far away from the boy as he could. He took a deep breath and wiped his eyes, hoping to deter any future tears from coming out. _I'm fine_, he tried to convince himself. _I'm fine. This is for the best and I'm totally fine._

"No, you're not." Charles wheeled up to the boy, making Alex jump as he approached.

"Go away," Alex stated instantly. He knew that Charles was still his superior, but Alex wasn't a student anymore, he was an X-Men, and he didn't want his old professor in his head, especially not right now.

"I'm not going to do that," Charles stated, pulling his wheelchair to a stop right beside the bench where Alex sat.

"Then at least get the fuck out of my head," Alex snapped.

"I don't need to be in your head to know what you're thinking," Charles stated, following Alex's gaze to where Sean was sat, still crying softly. "Don't you see what you're doing?"

"Saving his life?" Alex challenged. The professor didn't understand, and he didn't know why the man was even trying. This was his business, not the professor's, and it wasn't fair that Charles could involve himself in anything that he wanted.

"You're killing him," Charles stated.

"No, I'm trying to keep from doing that," Alex sighed, shaking his head. "You don't understand, okay?"

"I understand that you love him. I understand that he loves you, and I understand that two hearts are breaking right now when none need to."

"That just proves that you really, really don't understand." Alex slammed his book down on the bench, wanting Charles to just leave him alone. "Being with him is a death sentence for him, and I can't do that. I love him too much to see him get hurt."

"Then how are you sitting here right now, watching him while he cries? He's hurt, Alex, and by avoiding him you're causing him more pain than you can ever imagine. I know what he's thinking, Alex, and you wouldn't like it."

"Tell me."

"I'm afraid that would be a breach of trust." Charles shook his head.

"You fucking tell me right now!" Alex jumped up, grabbing the professor's shoulders and shaking him. "You tell me what he's thinking!"

"He's upset!" Charles pushed Alex back. "Calm yourself, Alex, calm yourself!"

"Fine." Alex sighed, sitting back down, though he didn't feel any more calm. "Tell me."

"He's confused," Charles started. "He doesn't understand why you won't talk to him, he doesn't understand why you're pushing him away."

"Well it's not that difficult!" he frowned. "I almost killed him!"

"He doesn't care about that." Charles shook his head.

"Then he's stupid! I care about it, and I don't want him to die! I love him!"

"Then you won't want to hear the next bit." Charles shook his head, preparing himself to wheel away from Alex.

"What is it?" Alex asked, following the wheelchair, his heart racing. "Just tell me! I can't keep going like this, I have to know."

"He's in pain, Alex." Charles stopped, turning his chair to face the temperamental blonde. "Everyone he's ever known has rejected him for who he was, and now he's finally met someone who can accept his powers and he's lost you too. He doesn't see a point in this kind of life."

"What?" Alex's eyes widened.

"He's not happy, Alex." Charles shook his head. "Not happy at all."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Alex asked, wanting answers instantly. It didn't sound good, but he wasn't sure just how bad it really was.

"Let's just put it this way." Charles took a deep breath. "It is not possible to die of a broken heart, but it is possible to die _because_ of a broken heart." He turned, wheeling away, leaving Alex standing there, frozen. The professor's message had reached him loud and clear, and he knew that something had to be done.


	3. Chapter 3

That night, Alex wouldn't let Sean out of his site. He followed him everywhere, staying a few paces behind the boy everywhere that he went. Sean didn't meet up with anyone else, he stuck to himself, but he was enough in his own little world that he didn't notice Alex. Finally, when it was dark and everyone else had gone to bed, instead of going back to his room, Sean stole into Hank's lab. He took the original model of his flying apparatus and headed out towards the satellite dish.

Needless to say, Alex followed him up there, afraid of what was going to happen. It was a long way down, a long fall, and he didn't want anything to happen to Sean, especially not after hearing what he had heard. Just because Sean had taking the flying apparatus did not mean that he was going to use it, and the thought that he might not scared Alex more than anything. He didn't want anything bad to happen to the boy that he loved, but he knew that bad things were happening to him already. They had been in love and now they couldn't be.

He stayed behind Sean, watching from the ladder of the dish as Sean put on his "wings." He watched Sean take a deep breath and lean forwards, sampling falling from the platform. Alex ran up, watching as the boy fell silently.

"SEAN!" Alex shouted in horror. "SCREAM!" But the boy did nothing, the only sounds were the reverberations of Alex's words on the dish. "SEAN!" Alex took a deep breath and closed his eyes, jumping from the platform. Maybe Sean wouldn't fly for himself, but Alex hoped that he would for him.

Sure enough, less than a second later, Sean's screams filled the air, and Alex felt a hand grab his arm, pulling him down for a soft landing. Alex's heart was racing, still scared with the possibility that they had both been about to die.

"What were you thinking?" Sean shouted as the touched down. "What the HELL were you thinking? You could have died! You fucking idiot!" Sean reached out, slapping Alex hard across the cheek, tears streaming down Sean's cheeks, staining his pale skin.

"I was thinking about you," he whispered, looking down. "You…you were going to kill yourself!" Alex shivered, sitting down on the grass, feeling a lump rising in his own throat.

"No, I wasn't!" Sean shook his head. "I'm not that stupid! Sure, I've thought about it, but this world needs me! They need my power and my help! I'm not that selfish!"

"But you weren't…you weren't screaming!"

"No, I'm working on testing the limits of my powers!" Sean rolled his eyes. "I'm waiting until I get closer to the ground, it's better for sneaking up on people. God you're such an idiot!"

"How was I supposed to know that? The professor said that you were miserable, he said that you were unhappy, that you were thinking about dying!"

"Well he was right on all of those counts, but thinking about killing yourself is miles and miles different than ACTUALLY doing it!" Sean stayed on his feet, his whole body shaking. "I'm going inside, I'll see you later, Alex."

"Okay." Alex nodded. He had so much that he wanted to say to Sean, but now that he knew that Sean wasn't going to hurt himself, he would have time to say it later.

"You're…you're not going to stop me?" Sean asked, biting his lip timidly. It was clear from his expression and tone of voice that he wanted nothing more than for Alex to stop him, but the blonde just shook his head.

"Why would I?" Alex asked. "Clearly you're furious with me, and I'm not going to chase after you again, after all, you yelled at me the last time." He gestured towards the satellite dish.

"You know what?" Sean folded his arms across his chest. "You have a lot of growing up to do, Summers." With that, he turned, walking away, leaving the other boy alone.

Alex waited until Sean was far enough away not to hear him before breaking down in sobs. Of course he wanted to follow Sean, but he had no way to do so safely. If he reignited their relationship, Sean would inevitably die, and that was just not something that he was willing to have happen, not even for the love he so badly wanted.

He didn't know how long he sat outside, tears pouring down his cheeks, but he when he finally got up to head to his room, his legs were asleep. He stumbled part way to the mansion before getting all of the feeling back, and he headed up to his bedroom, shocked to find that Sean was sitting on his bed when he walked into his room.


	4. Chapter 4

"What are you doing here?" Alex asked, frowning at the redhead.

"I'm giving you one more chance," Sean whispered. It was clear that the redhead had been crying a lot, and Alex's heart broke just a little bit more watching him sit there. "One more chance to admit that you love me, one more chance to take me back and start over."

"I can't." Alex shook his head. "You know I can't."

"No, I don't." Sean gulped, standing up and walking over to Alex. "You love me enough to jump off of a satellite dish just to get me to save my own life. You love me enough to die to save me, so I have to believe that you would never, ever hurt me."

"Not on purpose." Alex nodded. "But I can't speak for my powers, they…they have a mind of their own, I can't make them stop."

"Yes, you can." Sean reached out, placing his hand on Alex's chest. "You can control this, Alex. It's a part of you, you're not a part of it, and that means that you can get in there and tell it who's boss. Your mutation needs to learn to live with you, not you with it."

"Well maybe that's just not possible." Alex shook his head.

"It has to be," Sean whispered. "Because I can't imagine a world where you and I aren't together, and if I can see that, for the first time in my life, there's someone I belong with, I have to believe that there's a way."

"And I'm telling you there's not."

"No, you're telling me that it's hard." Sean took a deep breath. "And it is, we'll have to do a lot of work to get you strong enough to be in complete control all of the time, but it's not impossible, Alex…with us, nothing is. Your emotions control your powers, and if you love me enough, you won't let them hurt me."

"How do you know that I love you enough?" Alex asked softly.

"Because." Sean shrugged. "You leapt to almost certain death for me."

"Oh." Alex bit his lip. It was hard to refute the things that the other boy was saying when every single one of them was dead on. "I just…I can't…I can't hurt you."

"So don't." Sean took another step forwards. "But right now, you're killing me, Alex. I can't live without you. I know that's clingy, but it's true. I'm in love with you, and I know you're in love with me. I need you to tap into your power, to your strength, and admit that to yourself, because if you love me enough and if you can admit that to yourself, you're not going to have any problems with your power."

"How are you so confident?" Alex asked.

"I'm confident because I believe in us," Sean stated. "And because I'd rather die by your side then live a thousand years without you. I told you that I don't care if your powers kill me, and that was true. I have to be with you, Alex, and I don't think that you'll hurt me, but if you do, it was worth to have gotten to say I really had love."

"I don't understand…" Alex frowned, trailing off.

"You don't have to," Sean whispered. "Just know that I love you and it's going to be okay." He leaned up, kissing Alex softly on the lips.

"I love you too," Alex whispered, pulling back from the kiss. He reached out, putting his hand on Sean's cheek, wiping away some of the tears. "But I would never be able to forgive myself if I killed you."

"So don't kill me," Sean stated. "I know that if you think about it, you can control it…and while you're working on that, we'll just keep it tame okay?" He tilted his head to the side. "We can wait to get hot and heavy until you're more comfortable with your powers."

"You're…not going to let me say no, are you." Alex bit his lip. He was truly touched by Sean's gestures, but he wanted the boy to be safe more than anything, and he wasn't sure that he could imagine Sean ever being safe while they were dating.

"No." Sean shook his head. "I'm not. It's you and I, Alex. We're meant to be together, and we're going to figure out everything that needs to be figured out to make that work."

"You really do believe in us, don't you," Alex whispered.

"More than I've ever believed in anything." Sean nodded.

"Okay." Alex sighed, giving in to the other boy and to everything that he wanted. "Alright. I'm not strong enough to say no to you anymore. I love you too much."

"I know." Sean nodded, leaning in and kissing Alex again. "I love you too." Both boys knew that it was going to be difficult, but if they were willing to give it their all, they would find a way to keep their love – and both of them – alive.

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><p><strong><em>AN This is the end! Thanks for reading! I am going to have more oneshots up soon, maybe some more chapter stuff with these two!  
><em>**


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